What does abuse look like?

Abuse takes many forms. It doesn't always leave a bruise. Emotions and self-esteem are damaged more often than flesh. Spouses abuse each other with words way too often. Sexual abuse doesn't always equal rape. An adult may be "consenting" but not actually want to do something. Communication, awareness for each other, and empathy are all requirements to avoid abuse, but are sadly lacking in most relationships. Boundaries break down as one person takes another's love for granted. The abused slowly loses sight of what is right. The temperature in the pot is steadily rising and they don't realize it is about to boil.

I believe I was in an abusive relationship. I was taken for granted and disrespected. He gave me all of his problems and then blamed them on me and left me to clean them up. Everything he did to me was legal. I could talk about most things in public without getting more than a cringe from my loved ones. It was very hard to decipher whether things were really wrong or just stressed. I took it all lovingly, as a good spouse should do, thinking it would get better with time. It took me this long to realize the damage it caused me. If that damage had been a bruise on my face, I would have been gone a long time ago.

How do we stop perpetuating abusive relationships when they are so subtle? How do we convince ourselves or our friends that they are being abused? How do we teach our children to avoid and prevent abuse? Harder still, how do we teach them to leave it?