We tell ourselves and say to all the other anonymous women just like us, "We will get through this.We will."

Someday. We will even stop reliving that day, will stop hearing the police knock at our door. The barked orders. Stop remembering the day he called from the jail.  Even our  nightmares of that terrifying time will fade. Our kids will stop asking, where is he? There will be entire mornings when we will forget we were ever betrayed.

We will become brave and dare speak our secrets, We will find comfort in hearing the stories told by the wives of other sex offenders. How they got through it. Are managing to get through "it."  And we will suddenly know that we too are women who will also get through this. But maybe we are still women who for now also sign ourselves Anonymous when we tell our stories, when we like they also still sign our comments, Anonymous.

With 750,000 names on the National Sex Offender Registry there have got to be lots of us hiding somewhere. Reaching out in the dark. Finding each other amid the chaos of our lives.. Even a state like Nevada has 19000 sex offenders. The presence of so many Offenders server as  markers attesting to the existence of thousands of anonymous women and children...each holding tight to the self same secrets..lives torn apart but lately being pieced back together. Rising again from the ravages left in our lives by sexual obsessions  acted out upon the lives of our children.

The after effects  of  pornography, child sexual abuse, pedophilia, even rape. Each offense far more than it's mere legal definition. And all the women betrayed?  Where should they find us? Perhaps standing isolated and anonymous, unknown but next to each other in some long line or other?   In a check out line at the grocery store? Perhaps clutching or food stamps? In line looking for work? Registering the sex offender's children for school? Looking for a day care provider we can trust when we no longer trust anyone? Trying to keep a broken family together, deciding whether to stay or go, but if so where? Anonymously we come and go. Pass one another. Unknowing. Unless we see someone familiar standing, waiting once more in visiting.  As we are.

Perhaps we chose to Google our own address and find other families of other offenders living somehow close by. Curious, we might drive by.Take a look.  Only to see another anonymous woman, Alone, with a face much like our own, looking as though betrayal had made secret sisters of us all. Our sister standing there on her anonymous doorstep,

Just another women who secretly signs herself Anonymous late at night when her kids are finally put to bed. On the internet where she too is free to seek the kindness of other Anonymous women like hersllf somehow betrayed by their own once trusted sex offender..

We might see  a woman much like us, now isolated by secrets, up into the night searching for internet sites looking to find internet places where we may gather to hear each others stories, feel each others anger, staunch each others pain until some night each of us realizes its our pain falling down out of every story, our tears on the keyboard. And we realize we are no alone. ,

And at that moment we know that we will get through this in the company of so many.

Just women reaching out to each other. Late at night.Joining hands with each other because we understand ...