Changes and Choices

Women are attracted to this blog because of a common sort of situation that came about in a shock of change. It was a change that was forced upon us. Our families have been torn apart, we have entered legal mazes we haven't understood, our financial and work lives have been ripped to shreds, and emotions have flown into dangerous upheaval, but somehow we have survived it all. As the dust settles there are new kinds of changes that ARE our choice. Divorce or not. Moving or staying. Expressing or suppressing.

I've managed to move past the hardest part of the forced changes. Now I'm rebuilding a life. It's still hard and it often sucks, but there is a lot of happiness here, too. I have a new job, a new romance, and I'm even taking some classes toward a new career path. There are many pleasant choices here.

I almost forget sometimes what all I've been through. Wouldn't it be nice to just move on and pretend it never happened? That's part of the reason I disappeared from this blog for almost half of last year. I just kept putting it off because I was too stressed or too happy or just too busy with "normal" life . . . The problem is that "normal" lives aren't exempt from the problems that we have experienced so acutely. Everyone is truly touched by the same sexual issues in our society, just in different ways through various roles. I've circled this issue many times in my head: I can't escape these problems, but maybe by continuing the conversation on this blog I am helping to push the tide in the right direction, even if all I'm doing is supporting other wives and mothers like me. So I will resist the urge to turn my back and walk away. I will choose to keep going.

You know, it's nice to make choices that create changes instead of making choices just to survive them.

Even though I've chosen to keep blogging, I've also realized that I couldn't keep things going as they were. I know that I'll still face personal funks and I'll lose momentum, so I decided to get more voices into the mix. I've invited all of you who have been through similar situations to share on the blog. That invitation still stands (see the instructions, here).  I've also decided to bring on a co-blogger, Janet Mackie. I believe she has a wisdom and perspective that we all can learn from. She is the one who pointed out to me that we have all had change forced upon us and she also knows that pain personally.While I am blogging from the bubble of my life, she tends to look at a bigger picture. I hope she'll add an interesting and harmonious dynamic to this blog. Janet's first post will appear this weekend. Please come back soon to "meet" Janet and give her a welcome!

I am coming up on the third anniversary of my husband being arrested as a sex offender, so the changes I faced will be haunting me for the next month or so. I want to make something positive out of that pain. Please help me here with your voices. Let's support each other in surviving and healing. Let's also chose together not to turn a blind eye to the sexual issues in our society, but instead contribute toward greater positive change in whatever way we can.