Jo: "My story. Kinda"

This was sent to me by Jo, another member of our community. We all have unique stories, but so much in common. Please comment to show support and offer encouragement. 

 ~ Evie

It's taken me days and many cigarettes to finally email you.
How much of my story to tell? And it's just began.
He hasn't even been sentenced yet.
I have so much hurt and this has just started.
My house was raided January 28th. I still sometimes have panic attacks when I lay down to sleep.
I'm sitting at my neighbors apartment emailing you from my phone because my apartment is too toxic. That and the department of justice has my computer.
My husband is being charged with 4 counts of possession of child porn
The 4 days he spent in jail, as pathetic as it sounds, I physically hurt.
I had amazing friends by my side making sure that I ate and did their best to make me feel better
Then he was released on a signature bond.
Those first few days he was the husband I'd always wanted.
My heart broke as he cried and told me how sorry he was.
I knew he had a porn addiction, I just never expected it to get so has he started looking at children.
He explained that his disability (spinia bifida) made him too self conscious  to pursue relationships as a kid.
Our disabilities are a big part of how we got together. I have Cerebral palsy. In case you were wondering.

I listened to to his explanation of his addition.
I believed him and maybe I still do. I don't know anything anymore.
I made the decision to move out today. He was being an asshole the entire day. It's easy to be strong when he's a jerk.
I know he's probably hurting and that kills me. But I have to heal myself.

Hoping to get my own apartment asap.

Well at least I got part of my story out.

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