Heated and Hurt

Last night, the kids and I went to supper with Jake's parents. On the way home, we were talking about my mother's visit next week and Sabrina's first birthday (my baby). Then his mom, Kay, said, "Don't you have that accountant meeting next week?"

She was talking about the meeting with the accountant for Jake's business.

"I'm not going if he can make it."

"I don't think he is allowed to go," said Kay.

I started to whine, "Well, that''s information that I need to know. Why on earth can't he go?"

"[His treatment provider] thinks it's insignificant."

"What?! That makes no sense!" I went on to whine about how I had sent him a letter through his TP with all sorts of requests for information for the business and had yet to here back. I was temporarily peeved at his TP, thinking that she didn't respect my need for the info and was filing it under "insignificant".

The next day I called his TP and asked if he was going to the accountant meeting. I was ready to argue with her, but she had never heard anything about it and was going to ask his probation officer for me. I realized that it was his probation that restricted his travel, not his TP. I mentally apologized to the TP.

Then she told me that Jake had given her a response to my letter, but it was 6.5 pages of emotional junk. She hadn't sent it to me for that reason. I agreed with her that I don't want that right now. He will have a chance to share with me later, but for now I'm just trying to sort out all the practical matters. After I got off the phone, I was thankful that she was helping me to avoid Jake's BS.

Later, Big Rev called me about something he was dropping off. I took the opportunity to set him straight about the TP. I tried to explain how she was helping me. He snapped at me, "I don't care what anyone says to you, you need to be talking directly to Jake!"

Now, I'm not a confrontational person, but I can certainly rise to the occasion. My hackles flew up and I tore into Big Rev about everything Jake had done to me and how I truly need a break from it. Then we got disconnected, or he hung up.

I feel so crappy after that conversation. I realized how important Big Rev and Kay's support is to me. If they can't support me - if they take Jake's side - I can't stay here. I'm hanging by a thread.